Francisco's Journal an author discusses the art of writing

November 24, 2011

Amelia Elizabeth Walden Award Speech

Filed under: Amelia Elizabeth Walden Award,Awards,Teaching,Uncategorized — Francisco Stork @ 6:22 am

This is the acceptance speech I gave at the NCTE/ALAN conference two days ago upon receiving the Amelia Elizabeth Walden Award. I should say that this is the speech I planned to give since in the actual delivery of it, I got a little rattled and choked up and left out or added words here and there.

Thirty six years ago a couple of months from the end of my senior year at Spring Hill College, a small Jesuit institution in Mobile Alabama. I got a letter informing me that the Danforth Fellowship had been awarded to forty-five college seniors out of five thousand or so applicants. The letter went on to tell me that I was number forty-six. I stared at the letter for a few moments. I sighed. The letter seemed to fit perfectly with the story of my life. The fellowship, which covered tuition and living expenses for four years of graduate studies to seniors who intended to go into college teaching after obtaining a Ph.D., was one of the most coveted and prestigious national scholarships. The recipients could take their money and pretty much go wherever they wanted. I had sent in a last minute application at the insistence of David Sauer my English professor and creative writing mentor after I confessed to him that I had no idea what I was going to do after graduation. “You can learn to write in graduate school,” David advised.

A week later another letter from the Danforth Fellowship informed me that one of the forty-five had decided to accept a Fullbright Fellowship instead. I don’t know who that fellow was or where he is now, but every once in a while when I list the many blessings in my life his anonymous name comes up.

I also sometimes find myself reviewing those moments when a life changing, life-directing choice was made. Four years or so after the receipt of those letters, I wrote a very painful letter to the Director of the Danforth Fellowship informing him that I was leaving Harvard’s Graduate School of Arts and Sciences to attend Columbia Law School. Somehow or other, I wrote in the letter, I would find a way to fulfill the commitment to teach.

Well twenty-five years of practicing law went by and then one day I found myself writing a book about a young man growing in the projects of El Paso. I was writing the book so that my then teenage children could see a side of life that they had never seen before. But it occurred to me as I was writing it that I was, in my own way, teaching and that maybe I had found a path to fulfilling that long ago promise to the Danforth Fellowship.

I mention this episode of my life because I wanted to give you some context to how touched I am at receiving this award. And my appreciation comes not just from the fact that a book about a friendship between a young man set on revenge and a young man with cancer was deemed to contain a “positive approach to life.” It is based also on the fact that this award was picked by a group of people with a commitment to teach. This recognition by teachers and librarians means so much to me because I would like to think that this group recognized in my book values that are worth teaching.

It’s not really cool for a writer of young adult literature to confess that his books are motivated at least partly by an intention to teach. Such a confession creates horrible images of pedantic, preachy, boring books. I think that one of the reasons authors are so reluctant to admit to a “teaching” intention is because they have forgotten about the best teachers in their lives.

As I read the books of my fellow finalists in anticipation of this conference I was amazed at the fast, page-turning, pace of their books. I found all kinds of humor: Laugh out loud humor, dry, subtle humor, humor that suddenly revealed unexpected depth. I also found in these books the presence of the teacher, a good teacher, the kind of teacher that, if we are fortunate, we have had at least once in our lives. The teacher who not only conveys information but who elicits insight, the teacher who not only answer our questions but who confronts us with mystery, the teacher who makes us think and makes us feel. And indeed, when I read their bios, I saw how the important part that teaching played and in some cases still plays in their lives. If you haven’t read their books, read them and see if you can find the good, the wise, the kind, the invisible teacher and maybe you will agree with me that maybe, just maybe, in picking these books, the Amelia Elizabeth Walden Award Committee decided to send a powerful, important message.

So thank you Jordan, Matt, Matthew, Kristen for your effort. I look forward to continuing to learn from you. Thank you Arthur A. Levine/Scholastic for publishing the kind of books I like to write, I need to write, I’m called to write. Thank you Cheryl Klein, my dear editor for helping me to discover what I truly want to say and the most interesting way to say it. Thank you, Jill, my wife, whose example of good teaching I see every day. And thank you Amelia Elizabeth Walden Award Committee for recognizing the teacher in me.

September 24, 2011

Late September

Filed under: Beauty,Uncategorized — Francisco Stork @ 8:34 am

Late September in New England. A few dogwood leaves are stained with purple while not far away a white rose still blooms. The pear tree streaks yellow, the Japanese Elm is tainted with the beginnings of orange. The grass is still green and growing, but its pace is tired. I am determined to watch this transition, this changing over. I have singled out a leaf in the great oak tree in the front yard hoping to see the first tint of color appear. But it is not only sight that is affected during this time. There is a quieting taking place as if silence itself were looking for its proper rest place. The care-full watching and listening comes with a price. Along with the awe of seeing beauty born I feel an apprehension, a mixture of tender sadness and mild fear. Something hard is up ahead but it is yet too distant to fully imagine. A sense that now’s the time to garner strength, ready the soul’s firewood. Astonishingly, I know people who claim not to feel this subtle dread. Here where I live there are many who wouldn’t trade the change of seasons for a full time island paradise. I suspect that what they’d miss is not just the landscape transformation but the hues of feeling that accompany each phase. So I tell myself to be like my hardy neighbors. Can I embrace the inner resonance of each color? Let my heart be a flute played by the day’s breath.

August 14, 2011

Writer’s Block

Filed under: Uncategorized,Writer's Block,Writing — Francisco Stork @ 4:02 pm

Words come painfully slow. After an hour there is a paragraph that goes nowhere. Whatever it is I am trying to say has no future. It’s not so much a lack of words as a lack of vision. The mind does not accept the goodness of a sentence. Some kind of logic is missing. Or there’s too much logic. After a while I stop. The day’s “failure” makes it that much harder to start the next day. I cannot write because I am depressed. Or, am I depressed because I cannot write? All I can tell you is what I tell myself. Sometimes you need to sit and struggle. Other times you need to wait, with faith if you can muster it. You play it by ear each day. Some days you squeeze whatever you can out of yourself. A paragraph or two. A page is excellent. On other days it is better to surrender gently. Try not to despair. Avoid calling yourself names. You are precious even if you never write another word. Close your eyes and pretend you are a child at play. You are alone in your room on a rainy afternoon. No one is watching. The objective of the game is to have fun. It’s a good way to spend an hour or two. Do you remember when you started writing and you didn’t care about being brilliant or admired? There were no thoughts of publication or perfection. Do you remember when you wrote because you had to? The writing life with its ups and downs, with its green fields and deserts, can teach us many things. It has taught me what it means to be poor in spirit. I have seen the advantages of a pure heart. I have learned to mourn for as long as it is necessary and have doled out gentle mercy to myself. Even when writing is hard or when it doesn’t come there can be gain. In your waiting, depth can grow and courage. And when you write again it will be with humility and boldness. You will gratefully give what you can. The rest is not up to you.

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